This may appear to be a strange topic for
@SiVictim to write about on The Silence of Domestic Violence Blog, but it’s an
issue that I am becoming greatly concerned about. I have written about the Gender Bias before,
how statistics are used readily to promote the number of female DV victims thus
suggesting male intimate partners as the perpetrators and yet the figures
(which are readily available ) that highlight men are victims of DV too, are
ignored.
Friday 21st September was the
International Day of Peace and in connection with this I organised a drop-in
clinic at the local Children’s Centre entitled “Maintaining Peace in the Family
and Home.” This was in connection with
my role at President of my Rotary Club whose international annual theme is “Peace
through Service.” As I took-up office, I
said that I wanted to use my position to raise awareness to all issues
surrounding Domestic Abuse. As I saw
it, planning such a clinic I could link in the concept of keeping and
maintaining peace with raising awareness by offering ways and methods to avoid
temper-loss etc during those stressful moments at home.
I contacted local charities and organisations working
within the DV field for additional input into the event. The only support I received was from those
who I’d had previous contact with and they knew of my mission.
The organisations that I hadn’t had the
opportunity of contact prior to this,
were rather dismissive of a man wanting to raising awareness about
DV. I was even told not to go ahead with
the event until I had purchased and attended one of their training courses!
While I was at the drop-in clinic, my partner
telephoned me to let me know that the ‘This Morning’ TV programme was featuring
male victims of Domestic Abuse. This was
because of an ongoing storyline in the TV soap opera “Coronation Street” where
car mechanic Tyrone Dobbs is the victim of Domestic Violence.
I was able to watch the feature later in the day
and was quite angered by the coverage.
Two women were interviewed, one admitted to violent behavior and the
other lady worked for an organisation that ran programmes to help perpetrators
(both male and female) understand and then stop their violent behaviour. The presenters told the female abuser she was
brave in publicly admitting her abuse.
My main issue was that this lady was full of excuses, “I drank too much… I was so drunk, I didn’t
realise how violent I was to my partner.
I’m not violent now because I control my drinking now.”
THERE IS NEVER ANY EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE.
Watching the interview caused me greater anguish,
because it seemed to suggest that there is more support and help available to
female perpetrators of Domestic Violence, than there is for male victims. This is wrong and needs addressing the sooner
the better.
