Thursday, 15 January 2015

Listen Up

Part of the feedback I received from my last blog was ‘ when we (men) have spoken out, we are not believed or listened too.’

Men and boys aren’t encouraged to speak out or talk about their problems or issues.  As a man speaking out, I have been described on numerous occasion as ‘being brave.’  To be honest, I don’t see myself as such however I do feel strongly that injustices should be identified and addressed.  If we remain silent, how can anything be done?

It is true, though, that some attempts by men/boys are met with ridicule.  In the past this would also be true for women, but no one would dare to belittle the female gender.

Men haven’t been good at speaking out about the issues that deeply affect and trouble them.  This may be because from an early age, we are conditioned to grin and bear it.  Take for example, the way parents generally deal with crying children:

Little Emily cries.” What’s wrong, dear?”  Emily then has the opportunity to speak and be heard.

Little John cries.  “Stop crying…Big boys don’t cry..”     Poor John then learns early in life that no-one really wants to listen to him share his concerns.  He then goes through life being unable to speak out.

As a victim of Domestic Victim, I felt I couldn’t speak out about what was happening to me because no body would believe me. 

As a man, I also know that I don’t visit my Doctor as often as I do.  The few occasions when I have made an appointment, my opening statement has either been, “Sorry to waste your time, but my partner said I should see you about this,”  or “It’s probably nothing but…”

It has been long established that men are less likely to visit their Doctors and often by the time they receive a diagnosis, effective treatment may no longer be available.  This is one contributory factor to why men on average die at a younger age than women.

So today’s message is Listen Up to anyone speaking out, they may be saying something worthwhile!


  1. Domestic violence is a serious problem. I appreciate you reminding us to listen up to those around us. You never know who needs help around you.

  2. Si, i am currently working my way through your very well written blogs. I just wanted to say thank you for all the awareness that you have been raising and the support you have given, especially to other men that have been through abuse. The world most definitely needs more people like you, you are an inspiring and compassionate gentlemen.

    You took your own painful ordeal and made something great from it. I'm hoping to do the same. Would you mind if i share any links to your blog works on my fb page and twitter account? I have only just started out but what i'm hoping to do is show that domestic abuse doesn't pick a gender, it can happen to anyone at any time from any walk of life.

    1. Hi Beautiful Disaster, Please feel free to share links and thank you kindly for your gracious words. . My Twitter is @Sivictim