Part of the feedback I received from my last blog http://thesilenceofdomesticviolence.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/its-good-to-talk.html
was ‘ when we (men) have spoken out, we are not believed or listened too.’
Men and boys aren’t encouraged to speak out or talk about
their problems or issues. As a man
speaking out, I have been described on numerous occasion as ‘being brave.’ To be honest, I don’t see myself as such
however I do feel strongly that injustices should be identified and
addressed. If we remain silent, how can
anything be done?
It is true, though, that some attempts by men/boys are met
with ridicule. In the past this would
also be true for women, but no one would dare to belittle the female gender.
Men haven’t been good at speaking out about the issues that
deeply affect and trouble them. This
may be because from an early age, we are conditioned to grin and bear it. Take for example, the way parents generally
deal with crying children:
Little Emily cries.” What’s wrong, dear?” Emily then has the opportunity to speak and be
heard.
Little John cries.
“Stop crying…Big boys don’t cry..”
Poor John then learns early in life that no-one really wants to listen
to him share his concerns. He then goes
through life being unable to speak out.
As a victim of Domestic Victim, I felt I couldn’t speak out
about what was happening to me because no body would believe me.
As a man, I also know that I don’t visit my Doctor as often
as I do. The few occasions when I have
made an appointment, my opening statement has either been, “Sorry to waste your
time, but my partner said I should see you about this,” or “It’s probably nothing but…”
It has been long established that men are less likely to
visit their Doctors and often by the time they receive a diagnosis, effective
treatment may no longer be available.
This is one contributory factor to why men on average die at a younger
age than women.
