It’s taken me awhile to write this as I became quite
despondent about the Domestic Violence Support Service providers. Previous posts had expressed a hope that
there was a sea of change, that the policy makers were beginning to recognise
that Domestic Violence is NOT a Gender-specific crime, but a crime perpetrated
by males and females with members of both genders also victims.
Local councils could help to affect change but I have now
learnt that our elected representatives may try and introduce new policies, but
their successful implementation depend on the local authorities’ paid staff who
may also have their own agenda.
Sometime ago, I met with my local council and received
assurances that, following our meeting, they would be more gender-inclusive in
their support services. My optimism was
further fuelled when my local newspaper approached me for my opinion when
they’d received word that my local council would be creating a job that would be
reaching out to male victims of domestic violence.
So what happened?
For a long time, the job wasn’t advertised anywhere. I contacted the chairman of the council to
ask why and he informed me that the role would be an internal appointment. He also kindly said that should no internal
candidate be found, then the job vacancy would be opened up to all. If that happened, he would let me know and
true to his word, a month later he did just that.
I applied, but this is not the rant of someone who missed
out. I was disappointed I admit not
even to be called for an interview.
When the selection period had passed me by, I contacted the council and
asked for feedback as to why my application wasn’t considered.
I heard….nothing.
It took me several requests and five months later, I finally received
the feedback I’d asked for. In fact, by
this time, I’d learnt that the job had gone to a long-term council employee
with many years in administration but no experience of Domestic Violence. My requests to the Human Resources
Department for feedback where constantly ignored. It was only when I contacted the councillor who I originally met
that the paid staff sprang into action.
Within half an hour of speaking to my contact, I’d got a response at
last.
As ‘including men’ had been a key part of the advertised job
specification, I also asked how this was being developed. Of course, I didn’t get any straight
answers. The Feedback received was the
standardised . We received applications from many highly-qualified candidates
who unfortunately did not meet the internal criteria set by the council.’
As for services for men,
‘We are networking with all stakeholders to provide best service.’ Seeing no men’s group or support services
existed in the group of stakeholders, forget it – it’s a case of same old, same
old.
There are many fields where the male gender is
underrepresented, but everyone is afraid to acknowledge this. Industries that are male-dominated are
frowned upon and we often hear of political parties having female-only
shortlists in order to produce another female MP for that constituency. I believe that balance is best in all fields
as men and women have separate natural skills and giftings with both sets
required for well-being.
Good male role-models are required but where do you find them? Not in schools, where the majority of staff
are female. In this fatherless age,
imagine the societal impact if there were more positive male role-models in our
schools. The care industry is
predominantly female. There is a need
for more male workers, it is not healthy for service users.
The same goes for the counselling industry. More balance needs to be found. I have been training as a counsellor. I ended up being the only man in the
classroom. On a couple of occasions, I
was absent. On my return, one of my
peers said to me, “I’m glad you’re here today.
The class is always a lot calmer when you’re here.”
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