More increasingly I’m being asked about Fathers who are
being denied access or are finding seeing their children difficult due to
various issues so I thought it was time started to address some of the issues involved in this vast subject.
Before I go any further I do want to thank all mothers
who, despite their own personal feelings, recognise that children need both
parents and therefore co-operate and allow their children full contact with
their biological fathers.
My first post in this field deals with the legal rights and responsibilities of all parents.
As a parent, you have certain legal rights and
responsibilities which is known as ‘parental responsibility.’
What is Parental Responsibility in a nutshell?
To summarise, a mother (married or unmarried) automatically has parental responsibility. If you are the father and were married at the
time of the birth of your children, you also have automatic parental responsibility. Divorce DOES NOT invalidate your parental
responsibility. As an unmarried Father, some parts of the UK
will also automatically grant you parental responsibility if you’re named on
the birth certificate but this is worth checking on and not taking for
granted. As an unmarried father, you can
apply for parental responsibility either with or without your child’s mothers
consent.
Verbal agreements may seem okay when things are amiable with
your ex-partner but always get a copy of such agreement in writing (whether
formal or informal) with your ex-partner signing and also dating the
agreement.
To have a
Parental Responsibility arrangement legally recognised, fill in a Parental Responsibility
Agreement form (also known as Form C(PRA1) ). Take the agreement
to your local county court or
family proceedings court, where it can be signed
and witnessed. Also take the child’s
birth certificate and proof of your identity, like a passport or driving
licence.
Then send 2 copies of the form to the following
address:
Principal Registry of the Family Division
First Avenue House
42-49 High Holborn
London
WC1V 6NP
If you want parental responsibility
but can’t agree on arrangements with the mother, you will have to apply for a
court order from your local county court/family proceedings court which currently costs £215.
If you have parental responsibility for a child you don’t live with, you
don’t necessarily have a right to contact with them - but the other parent still needs to keep you updated about their
well-being and progress.
You’re also
responsible for:
·disciplining the child
·choosing and providing for the child’s education
·agreeing to the child’s medical treatment
·naming the child and agreeing to any change of name
·looking after the child’s property
Parents have to ensure that their child is supported financially,
whether they have parental responsibility or not.
More information about Parental Responsibility and the
forms needed to apply for it can be found at
Long standing readers of my blog http://thesilenceofdomesticviolence.blogspot.co.uk will know that I have been campaigning for
gender equality in acceptance and awareness for victims of Domestic Violence
for quite a period.
During the last year the popular English soap opera, Coronation Street, ran a
storyline where popular car mechanic Tyrone Dobbs was a victim of abuse
perpetrated by his partner Kirsty.
Overall, I felt that the scriptwriters handled this well and helped
raised this taboo subject into the public consciousness. I did hope that attitudes will change as a
result. However, I are being to wonder
whether times are changing?
Take, for example, two recent public fights between celebrity
couples. In one, the victim was found
with a bloodied nose and bite marks after the alarm was raised in a hotel. Photographs emerged of the other couple out
dining with one party reaching over and appearing to grab the other party by
the throat.
Without any shadow of doubt, both these incidents are
serious violent assaults and the more serious injuries probably occurred in the
first account ( bloodied nose /bite mark).
And yet, that crime passed with little comment.
English readers will know that in the second
attack I describe the victim was celebrity chef Nigella Lawson and her
assailant was her husband, art dealer Charles Saatchi. There then followed a media outcry.
What of the first attack?
This featured the actresses Emma Roberts who allegedly inflicted
the damage on her boyfriend Evan Peters.
This was perhaps the more brutal of the two cases and yet, Mr. Peters
refused to press charges so nothing more was said. Rather ridiculously, this alleged attack was
then described as a disturbance. I
suspect though, that had Emma Roberts been discovered with a bloodied nose and
bite marks, disturbance would have been a far too weak word to describe the
actions of an animalistic attack.
So are times a changing?
Hmmmm, maybe not.
I think that a token acknowledge that men can also be
victims of domestic violence is being made, without recognising the seriousness
of the issue. Take, for example, my
local regional newspaper, The Nottingham Post.
They have being running an effective Domestic Violence awareness
campaign called Man Enough. My only
criticism of it is that it is Gender-biased.
I can’t blame the paper for this really, because the whole Domestic
Violence support industry became Gender-biased after being highjacked by
Misandrists.
The man Enough campaign is about encouraging men to stand
up and pledge that they will not commit any form of violence against
women. Of course, I applaud this fully,
but I feel that it falls short because (probably unintentionally) it
perpetuates the myth that all men are potential attackers and it is only women
that are abused by their intimate partners.
Despite a high-profile DV campaign, the Gender-biased
approach was evident. In May 2013, a
report appeared of a local video that had gone viral of a couple where one
partner began behaving in an aggressive manner by throwing shopping items such as
canned goods at the other person.
However, because the person throwing the tins was female the report was
written in jokey fashion.
Had the roles been
reversed, again there would have been a great furore. In fact, the following
film is well worth a watch to once again show how inconsistent attitudes are:
It shows how fickle people’s opinions may be. When viewing a woman hit her male partner, it seems an acceptable attitude to assume that the man deserves it because he must
have been cheating and that the man had it coming. Conversely, if a man is viewed hitting a
woman, there can be no valid excuse, as it’s wrong. It doesn’t matter whether the woman has been
cheating or not. There is NO
EXCUSE. Let me state here and now,
strong and loud, irrespective of gender, THERE IS NEVER ANY EXCUSE FOR DOMESTIC
ABUSE.
The following month, a columnist took the Coronation
Street story as her inspiration for her latest musings:
“…Obviously a lot of viewers agreed with me, as Coronation Street won
best storyline with the ongoing domestic abuse story between Kirsty and Tyrone.
While it focused on Tyrone as a male victim of domestic abuse – and did
a fantastic job in raising awareness on male victims of domestic abuse –
Women's Aid reports that one in four women will experience violence from their
partner at some point in their lives….”
I took issue with the way in which the article was written, commending a TV programme for highlighting female-perpetrated
abuse against men then using it to comment on violence against women.
“As a male victim of Domestic Violence I applaud
anything that brings greater awareness to the issue and I was pleased overall
the way in which the Coronation Street scriptwriters handled this sensitive
issue. The soaps certainly fulfill a role in teaching society about what is
actually happening out there. However, this article could have done with some
better research. It focuses on the Male Victim of Domestic Violence storyline
and then quotes a statistic from Women's Aid which bears no relevance
whatsoever to the article. In writing about male victims of DV, why then quote
'1 in 4 women will experience violence from their partner at some point in
their lives." In the context of the article, a better quote would have
been "1 in 6 men will experience violence from their partner at some point
in their lives." If any reader wants to know more about the impact of domestic
violence on me and my children, my blog http://tinyurl.com/bygzbus is a worthy starting point.”
I must
make it clear though, that this is not a criticism of the newspaper. They are only reporting on the attitudes and
perceptions that still exist. To give
the media its due, they recently ran an interview with myself allowing me to
speak up for male victims:
I consider myself to be a logical person and a rational
thinker. For example, I usually keep
things in the same place and so if I can’t find an item, I retrace my steps and
hopefully soon find the object I’ve misplaced.
If my search is unsuccessful, I won’t rest until I discover it. My logic tells me that the object I seek is
exactly in the same place where I left it.
Most of the time, this approach works for me. If it doesn’t, I can never rest until the
search is over. My logical thinking always telling me that it’s exactly where I
last placed it.
However, if my ex-wife
had misplaced something (losing her keys/purse etc.), I was always blamed for taking it (or moving it) . This would then always
seem to provide an excuse for yet another violent outburst. Having gained some
insight from the excellent ‘Prone to
Violence’ by Erin Pizzey and Jeff Shapiro, I can now understand where her
approach comes from.
When I was assaulted by my ex-wife, a similar thought
pattern kicked in. I ended up making
excuses for her behaviour because that was the only way I could make logical
sense of the abuse.
Looking back, I still struggle about how my ex-wife can
portray herself as a pillar of the local community when I and our children know
the real truth about her. When
challenged about her behaviour towards us, she either denies or waters down the
severity of the offence. Recently, she
did admit to our daughter that she had had ‘anger issues in the past’ which is
the first time she’s acknowledged anything.
I have reflected over these feelings before and my online
friend, Andy Thomas of ‘A Voice for Men’, http://www.avoiceformen-uk.com/
suggested I read Erin Pizzey and Jeff Shapiro’s ‘Prone to Violence.’ This was a most insightful book and is being
featured on ‘A Voice for Men’s’ website currently.
Erin Pizzey founded the first refuge for all victims of domestic
violence in the 1970’s. She discovered
that out of the many women coming to her refuge, most were as violent (if not
more so) than the partners they were leaving behind. ‘Prone to Violence’ is an account of the real
truth about Domestic Violence. However, it can be a disturbing read because its
message is one that the Governmental Policy Makers don’t want you to hear.
I count it a real honour that some of my blogs are
included along Erin Pizzey’s articles on ‘A Voice for Men’ website. Erin’s latest article is well worth a read as
she writes about how Domestic Violence policy developed to the detriment of men
and their rights:
Reading ‘Prone to Violence’ has given me some of the
answers I’ve been seeking for a long time about my ex-wife’s abusive
behaviour. The book is based on
experience and observation and lays out how Domestic Violence victims fall into
two camps: Battered Spouses and those Prone
to Violence.
The battered spouses tend to
have grown up in emotionally-enabled families and fall victim to violent
partners. However, the ‘Prone to
Violence’ types come from emotionally-disabled families, never knowing the
proper love, care and nurture as young children that so many of us take for
granted. As a result, these ‘Prone to Violence’ people learn from an early age
that the only time they are noticed and given attention is when anger manifests
itself and so they become addicted to that emotion/pain, even creating
situations so that they can feel the buzz that the violent reaction gives them.
The following excerpt seemed to be written for me and, at
the very least, gives me some comfort of explanation that I have been searching
for:
Prone to Violence, Chapter Five
……If
you accept, as we do, that you are both emotionally and chemically bonded to
your parenting, then it becomes so much easier to understand your own
addiction. In a healthy family, that bonding plays its part while a child grows
and learns. Then, when the child is ready to turn outwards, the bonds are
slowly loosened, while the parents readjust their lives to use their time for
themselves and enjoy their future with each other. The child meanwhile seeks to
recreate the good, warm, loving relationships
and home environment that it experienced in its own home. Usually, this child
will succeed. An emotionally and chemically synthesised maturing adult will
seek the same relationship with its
partner.
On the whole, the emotionally able will avoid
the discomfort and turmoil of the emotionally disabled. If by chance they do
attempt to form a relationship with an emotionally disabled person, they will
then find themselves in the position of a battered woman or battered man.
Confused and bewildered, they continually misunderstand the messages they get
from their partners. It is very rare that
they can actually do very much to change their partner. If their partner will
not seek help, their best bet is to get out before children are born and they
become the unwitting parents of another generation of damage.
Children born into violent homes will usually
express the violence and betrayal of their childhood according to how it
personally affects them, their position in the family, and their genetic inheritance.
Instead of flowing with the warmth and the love of a happy family, they have
had to survive against the violent and often incestuous onslaughts of their
parents. Violent and incestuous families do not let each other go. The parents
take little pleasure in each other's company, and use one or all of the
children in the highly complex emotional theatre and battleground of the
family.
Betrayal
is the key word in these families. Betrayed parents in turn betray their
children. They rob them of their childhoods. They exploit them physically. They
exploit them emotionally. They keep them on edge in a jealous rage for
attention. Then when the children do finally break away, the rest of their
lives are spent in reaction against their parents.
Should a girl from a non-violent home marry a
boy from such a family, the chances are that no amount of reassurance will ever
convince him that she will be faithful to him. That primary betrayal of a
faithless or promiscuous mother will make him morbidly jealous for life. His
only hope is that he can find someone who can help him not only to come to
terms emotionally with the damage, but also to be able to identify the moment
when an event can trigger a chemical reaction in him that sets off the emotion of jealousy, and then to
relate it to the past, not the present. Sometimes it can be a smell, a perfume,
an inflection in a voice, which can stimulate the feelings of betrayal, and
bring the rage flooding back into the present. He then behaves in such a way
that it is out of proportion with the current event.
Unfortunately, so far, very little work has
been done in this field in Britain, where there is noticeable resistance to any
attempt to understand why human beings behave as they do In other countries where
I lecture, I find a great deal of interest and research going on.
I commenced writing this blog when I lost my last job. My dismissal came about because I received a
police caution and I declared this caution at work. Although the crime was not connected, or as
far as I was concerned, bore any relation to the work I was doing, I felt the
decision was harsh. My conduct was
deemed inappropriate despite the fact that there had been no issues with my
conduct prior to my declaration.
I shared with my then employers, my whole back story and
the context in which I gained the caution believing/hoping that they would
understand.
They didn’t.
Since then, I’ve been searching furiously for work. I can get plenty of volunteer roles. People seem to want to make full use of my
skills, talents and experience for free.
However, when it comes to paid work, no-one wants to take a gamble on
me.
Most application forms ask for a declaration of criminal convictions. Some also ask for warnings/cautions etc as
well. I’m not totally convinced whether
prospective employers actually appreciate the difference between a conviction
and a caution either. If I get to an
interview and there’s possibility that
my caution will be revealed in post-interview checks, I volunteer the
information to the interview panel.
Usually on the forms, there’s a disclaimer stating that
your conviction/caution will not be a factor in my potential recruitment. When I’ve declared it to an interviewer, I’ve
always been thanked for my honesty and told that my application will be judged
on its merits and my caution will not influence the overcome.
However, I tend to receive the following feedback:
“We liked you as a person, you gave a strong interview
BUT because of your caution we don’t want to take a chance.”
When I reveal my caution to prospective employers, I also
tell them the context in which I received it and this has led me to question
myself whether they really believe my testimony.
There I am, a big burly chap sitting in front of them,
telling them that I was a victim of Domestic Violence and my caution was result
of my befuddled attempts to try and minimise the conflict at home. Do they really believe that men can be victims and affected by Domestic Abuse? I fear they don't.
The reality is that I know that , without any blemish on
my record, I would walk into the
vacancies I’m applying for without any problem.
Prior to receiving the caution, I was offered every job
that I’d been called to be interviewed for.
Post caution, nothing.
All I can do is stay positive, keep knocking on doors and
believe that very soon someone will take a chance on employing me.
This third part has been the hardest to write as it features
my third and youngest child. This child
has some mild learning difficulties and sometimes exhibits challenging
behaviour. There has been a delay on
early stage of his early growth development.
His behaviour and attitudes are sometimes reminiscence of symptoms of
Asperger’s Syndrome and Autism. Despite this and numerous medical
examinations since birth, no clear diagnosis has ever been given. His gait and posture is very infantile and he
displays frustration which quickly turns into vented anger when things don’t go
right for him. School has always been a
struggle for him.
His problems were one of the key factors that kept me in the
abusive marriage for many years. I
believed that my leaving would cause him further and greater damage and would
severely affect his well-being.
A huge turning point for me was when he mirrored one of his mother’s
attacks on me. A couple of days prior to
this episode, his mother had turned violent, first of all she was verbally
threatening. When I didn’t respond, she
deliberated overturned her dinner plate over my head so that the food cascaded
down me and then smashed the plate on my head.
I had learnt that no response could calm her so I just sat there and
absorbed it without making any response.
Because this action hadn’t provoked me into retaliation of any
description, she then grabbed my dinner plate and threw that over me too. She then stormed out the house and I started
to clear the mess up.
A few days after this,
I’d cook and served dinner for all the family and was in the kitchen
washing the dishes. My son, who was 10
years old at this stage, brought his plate out and threw the remains over
me. I was cross with him and shouted at
him, he was visibly upset and had a look of shock on his face.
I realised that he thought his actions were ‘normal’ and
okay because he’d seen his mother do similar just days before. It also dawned on me that my staying in that
abusive environment and absorbing such violence wasn’t protecting the children
from the impact of domestic violence after all.
Shortly after this, during another violent assault, I chose
not to return to the marital home. It
broke my heart to leaving all three children behind.
My son had always been close to the middle child who was
like a second mother to him. He’d
started playschool while she was still there and she took the parental
instruction of “Look after your brother for us” seriously.
This relationship seemed to change once the eldest child
came to live with me, and my second daughter has written in this blog about the
events that led her to coming to live with me.
Part of that was her own brother attacking her.
This is the situation that worries me most and I feel
helpless about. My son still lives with
his mother. He stays with me every other
weekend. I know he feels a loyalty to
his mother as he’s seen me and his two sisters leave, so he feels he can’t abandon
his mother and cant come and live with me.
For the most part, he is a delightful young man. When he stays with me, he never hits
out. There are occasions when he sulks, but
either I or his siblings are able to bring him out of the mood before he get
angry and violent. However, I do worry
about the time he’s not in my care.
There have been a couple of episodes at school when his
frustrations have boiled over. The
school have been very good in managing him and have realised that the majority
of the time, others have been provoking him to try and elicit a reaction.
I see in him similar behaviour to his mother. I’ve tried talking to her about this for I’ve
questioned whether this is something genetic or learnt. When he stays with me, I always try to encourage
him to talk. He will talk on any subject
that he’s interested in but won’t talk about his feelings or emotional state.
Interesting, when he was staying with me, one of his sisters
intercepted a facebook conversation with a school colleague where he was
telling this other person that he was saw the Doctor every week for
depression. I shared this with his
mother, but when I asked my son why he
felt he needed to tell someone this fabrication (although of course I didn’t phrase
it like that) he won’t talk about it. To
me, however, it was rather insightful because I think he recognises that he
needs to talk to someone.
Recently, his school contacted me again because they are
concerned about some of his challenging behaviour. There had been bullying in the past, so they
do take things seriously. My son had
complained to a teacher that he was being attacked and his descriptions were
quite vivid. However, they had been
watching closely and had seen nothing untoward taking place. When I spoke to my son about this he was adamant
it was happening. When I questioned it,
he got very aggressive and challenged whether I believed him or not. This tactic, I know, would stop his mother
from seeking more information. However,
I persevered and eventually he admitted that he’d make the whole thing up
and told school that. He was then
remorseful and contrite.
He needs some help but won’t talk to anyone. I have tried to involve other agencies. When his second sister left, I called social
services and child protection because I was concerned. They did a quick onsite assessment, but
because they deemed him not at any physical risk from his mother, they closed
the case. No-one wants to assess the
emotional or mental risk.
The only thing that gives me hope is that he’s fine when
triggers aren’t breached, although he won’t recognise triggers or the impact of
his behaviour. He does display some of
the aggressive traits of his mother, although the one area where they differ is
that afterwards, he is remorseful and recognises his wrong doing. I only hope that as he grows older, he’s able
to talk through the things and emotions that he’s obviously bottling up. I just wish the help was offered and provided
that I believe he needs.
Elsewhere I already described my middle child as very
similar to me in temperament and very placid.
I didn’t really notice the impact on her while I was still living in the
family home although it affected her like everyone else. The eldest child was always being criticised
by her mother and was constantly verbally assaulted. The youngest child had similar behavioural
issues to his mother. I guess the middle
child felt caught in the middle and tried to make the best of a bad situation.
It was when I had been relocated in a house several miles
away from the children that I saw how witnessing Domestic Violence had affected
her.
This child had an exceptional school attendance record never
missing a day from school. She started
developing headaches and cramps that were affecting her school attendance.
All three children had stayed with me for the weekend and we
had a good happy time together. A few
days later I called unannounced at the children’s home to drop something off to
them. I was shocked at the change in the
physical appearance of my middle child.
How she could change so drastically in just a few days deeply concerned
me.
I also knew that she couldn’t talk
to me when I telephoned them for I knew that their mother was always standing
by them and listening to the call when I phoned. When the children were being very guarded and
mono-syllable in their responses I knew that their mother was close by. The children would confirm this for me. Disturbed by the poor health of my daughter I
managed to communicate by Facebook. We
had the following text conversation which I share with her permission:
Hi ,
I'm worried about you and want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime.
I realise it may be hard when XXXXXXX and xxxxxxxxx are around, or when your
Mum is listening over the phone. It does concern me that you seem to cope ok
when you are with me at the weekend, but looked so ill yesterday. Anything you
type won't go any further, and it may help if you feel you have to bottle
things up to protect every one.
Love you lots
Dad xx
oI
think I am just stressed out, I enjoy things more with you but at mums house It
just stresses me out. I really want to live with you. love you two xx
·
oI'd
love to have you all here all the time - the only thing that worrries me about
that is the upheaval of changing school.
Love you xx
·
oyeah
I know :/,
how far Is xxxxxxxxx to xxxxxxxxxx?
·
o13
miles...20-30 minutes by car - we could work something out. Does your mum know
you're stressed?
·
ono
she doesn't
·
oit
might help if you can say that to the doctor's without your mum knowing -- does
mum leave you alone with the doctor?
·
onope
she sits there with me, I could tell student reception maybe?
·
oit
would probably help you if you could talk to someone other than me or mum,
ideally perhaps asking to see the doctor alone?
·
oyou
know what shes like, she won't let me talk to the doctor alone
·
ohow
does student reception work?
·
owell
miss xxxxx says I can talk to her anytime about anything
·
oit
might be a good idea to talk to her as soon as you can. The only thing i don't
want to happen is for your schooling to be affected
·
oI
will talk to her tomorrow
·
oTell
her she can contact me anytime. I want the best for you all
·
oOk
I will, I know you do but it won't help my school work at all if I'm stressed
all the time
·
oSomeone
(whether me or the school) needs to tell your mum she's stressing you out and
it's affecting your schoolwork..
Perhaps it might help you to think of all the different ways in which she's
stressing you out and list them
·
oIts
everything really, but recently it been the fact that she thinks I was skiving
and I can't believe she would think that little of me, you know that I am not
the type of person to miss school, so she obviously don't know me as well as I
thought
·
oIt
breaks my heart xxxxxx, we have three amazing children and I'm so proud of all
you and how you're coped with everything. I didn't want to leave when I did,
but was given no choice. You need to say all this to Miss xxxxxxxx and whatever
happens, I'm always here for you. If it means moving in with me, we will work
it out so that school is unaffected.
I will speak to your Mum if you want me too, but she may just think I'm trying
to cause trouble so it may be best from school..You know how she re-acted when i
tried to speak to her about xxxxxxxx
·
ono
its probably best if you don't tell her, I know you didn't want to leave but I
know you had to, If I move in with you then I will maybe just have to wake up a
bit earlier, That is the thing I love school (sounds weird) but its the best school
I have been to, you can guess that from my levels and stuff, I am going to tell
miss xxxxxx tomorrow and I will tell you how it goes around this time
·
oI
don't want you to leave that school either...if you end up living here, I'll make
sure you still get to school..
I love you so much, I think you're totally amazing and I'm really proud of you.
xxxx
·
othanks
I love you too,
I'm going now so I will tell you what happens tomorrow
bye xx
·
oBye
and be brave
Love you xxx
·
hi,
I tried to tell miss xxxxxx that I am stressed but she said I need a letter
from my parents for some reason, so do you think you can write one and give it
to me at the weekend on the quiet?
xx
·
oHi
xxxxxx Of course I can
Love you lots xxxx
ohi
xxxxxxx Missing you. School phoned me today, really glad you're able to talk to
them. I love you lots and will always be here for you. I'm really proud of you,
you are an exceptional young lady.
Keep smiling,
oyeah
did they tell you what they said to me;
they said they were going to phone you,
email my teachers so they can keep an eye on me,
contact the school nurse about my stomach pains and,
a school counselor is in for one day so they put me on the list so I can talk
to her,
I was waiting for ages for the lady to come and talk to me but the only reason
she did on Friday was because my friend xxxxxxxx went to her without me knowing
and ask if she could come to me straight away because she could tell I needed
to talk to someone, and that was nice of her, I am really lucky to have friends
like her :)
It wasn’t too long
after this that I left the church ministry, found a house near the school. The eldest child came to live with me as
described in part one of this blog. A
month later, my middle child telephoned me from a friend’s house
distressed. She’d reached breaking
point and couldn’t cope with her home life anymore. She’d made the excuse of going to see her
friend. Once she reached that safe
haven, she’d decided that she couldn’t return.
I went to collect her
and asked her if her mother knew where she was. She said no so I said I’d telephone her
mother to let her know where she was and that she was safe.
I made the call and
said that I’d been asked to collect our middle child from her friend’s house as
she was extremely distressed and upset.
Her mother said that they had had an argument. I informed my ex-wife that our daughter was
determined that she didn’t want to return there. I then suggested that the best course of
action would be to let our daughter stay with me overnight and then review the
situation in the morning when tempers had subsided.
My ex-wife seemed to agree to this approach,
however just before midnight she telephoned me, asking me what was happening
and when I said that we had agreed that our daughter was safer staying the
night with me, she launched into an abusive tirade accusing me of kidnap and
issuing all manner of threats against me.
I hung up the telephone because I didn’t need to listen to such rubbish
and everything that could have been said rationally had been. My daughter was safe and had made her choice,
her mother knew where she was and there was nothing else that could be done at
this point.
Since moving in with
me, this daughter has not experienced any more health issues and has excelled
at school keeping minimum contact with her mother.
