I came out of the consultation with senior churchmen feeling that the only option available to me was resignation. The interview techniques used implied to me that this was the best course of action. They were very subtle though. When I first mentioned resignation, the immediate response was “you’ll lose your car if you resign.” This struck me as a very peculiar answer. True, as part of the salary package I‘d lose the leased company vehicle, but it would also mean that I would have to find somewhere else to live. I thought that when speculating on resigning, the last thing that was on my mind was the perk of a company car! I had far more important things to consider.
Most of the country was caught up in Royal wedding celebrations but partying was the last thing on my mind. I was in a rather morose state. I drafted out a resignation letter. I had sought the advice of some people who thought I was being rather hasty. I went for a long lengthy walk in the countryside listening to music through my ipod. Some people might have decided that they would front the situation out but I felt totally ashamed of the behaviour I had been confronted with. After I finished walking, I posted my letter of resignation to the church administrators.
I decided to accept responsibility for my actions and face the consequences. It still pains me today that what I did was a mistaken way of trying to save my marriage but ended up costing me everything. While I have admitted my shortcomings, Sandra has never acknowledged her role in my destruction or accepted any accountability for her behaviour even when challenged. Despite being the perpetrator of long term Domestic Violence, Sandra still remains a church minister.
After resigning, the church arranged for the leased car to be collected. They paid for a transporter to collect it off my driveway and deliver it a store area in London. Within a many of weeks, they then reassigned the leased car I had driven, to another church minister. By this time, I had also left the manse. Bizarrely, the leased car was then transported back from London as the church minster they’d reassigned the car to, was now residing in the manse that I had occupied. They could not have been that concerned about the way they used church funds. I have been made to feel that I was the world’s biggest criminal in my misappropriation of church funds. I had also paid back every penny (and more) that I had taken without consent. None of my previous exemplary conduct was taken into account. I had no help with relocation. I was even notified that my membership of the church had been cancelled. I had been a life-long member. I had made great sacrifices all my life for the church and now a church preaching forgiveness and restoration was casting me out without any compassion.