I came
out of the consultation with senior churchmen feeling that the only option available
to me was resignation. The interview
techniques used implied to me that this was the best course of action. They were very subtle though. When I first mentioned resignation, the immediate
response was “you’ll lose your car if you resign.” This struck me as a very peculiar
answer. True, as part of the salary
package I‘d lose the leased company vehicle, but it would also mean that I
would have to find somewhere else to live.
I thought that when speculating on resigning, the last thing that was on
my mind was the perk of a company car! I
had far more important things to consider.
Most of
the country was caught up in Royal wedding celebrations but partying was the
last thing on my mind. I was in a rather
morose state. I drafted out a
resignation letter. I had sought the advice of some people who thought I was
being rather hasty. I went for a long lengthy
walk in the countryside listening to music through my ipod. Some people might have decided that they
would front the situation out but I felt totally ashamed of the behaviour I had
been confronted with. After I finished walking, I posted my letter of
resignation to the church administrators.
I decided
to accept responsibility for my actions and face the consequences. It still pains me today that what I did was a
mistaken way of trying to save my marriage but ended up costing me everything. While I have admitted my shortcomings, Sandra
has never acknowledged her role in my destruction or accepted any accountability
for her behaviour even when challenged.
Despite being the perpetrator of long term Domestic Violence, Sandra
still remains a church minister.
After
resigning, the church arranged for the leased car to be collected. They paid for a transporter to collect it off
my driveway and deliver it a store area in London. Within a many of weeks, they then reassigned
the leased car I had driven, to another church minister. By this time, I had also left the manse. Bizarrely, the leased car was then transported
back from London as the church minster they’d reassigned the car to, was now
residing in the manse that I had occupied.
They could not have been that concerned about the way they used church
funds. I have been made to feel that I
was the world’s biggest criminal in my misappropriation of church funds. I had also paid back every penny (and more)
that I had taken without consent. None of
my previous exemplary conduct was taken into account. I had no help with relocation. I was even notified that my membership of the
church had been cancelled. I had been a
life-long member. I had made great
sacrifices all my life for the church and now a church preaching forgiveness
and restoration was casting me out without any compassion.
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